"A New Look at Jealousy"

by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

Many people deal with j ealousy on a daily basis and although they know
it causes trouble in their lives, they are very rarely aware of how to help
themselves get over those feelings.

Jealousy issues can show up over other people's things, success, beauty,
athletic prowess, relationship, kids, education, money, and life. It can be a
vague, uneasy feeling or it can be an overwhelming feeling of fear that drives
them to say and do things that they wouldn't do otherwise. If jealousy is left
unchallenged, it can lead to divorce and separation from their current partner
and any future partners, as well.

We've learned that it does not go away by itself. If you ignore it, jealousy will
usually intensify and run your life.

The root of jealousy issues usually is not what's happening on the surface, like
a partner's flirting with another person. It's usually about whatever is underneath
that needs to be dealt with. It might be a broken heart from a previous relationship
or it might be a poor self image that has been with you since childhood.

One thing we know from our own experiences and from the experiences of the
people we have helped, the first step is to decide if you are committed to changing
and healing.

You have to realize what the consequences of allowing jealousy to stay in your
life will do to your relationships. Believe it or not, jealousy is a choice one makes.

Becoming aware of your feelings is also a step toward healing. These feelings may
be anger, fear, sadness, or anything else that close you down and keep you from
connecting with those you love.

If you want to overcome jealousy, know that you can't blame others and you can't
blame yourself. You have to be committed and open to learning how you can start
loving yourself and what that means in your life.

If you are having challenges with jealousy that could potentially damage your relationships,
we invite you to look underneath and see what the real problem is.

Then you can commit to working on and healing these challenges and committing to making
some changes for the better in your life.